Game Over?

It's been six months since I felt the first headache, I knew there's something wrong with me, but I chose to ignore it. Whenever the weather gets hot, the headache will pay me a visit.If that's not bad enough, the fragile veins in my nose would burst and kick some blood out of my nose. The feeling is like...How should I explain? It's like tying a medium-sized brick on the head, and to make things worst, there's a fountain of youth in my nose that shoots out suspicious red and not-quite-safe-to-consume liquid, which I believe is not edible, but volunteers are welcomed. ^^

Some say it's menstrual going on in my nose, some say I bleed my nose because I jizzed my pants at the same time, all I know is, I ain't feelin' good. My mom asked me to get a check-up from the doctors, but the syringe phobia quickly conquered my mind, at the moment I start to think about white uniform, stethoscope and Disney necktie, the brain goes into the illusion of syringes raining cats and dogs, oops, should be flees and flies, cats and dogs can't fit in my head. Yes, I am afraid of syringes, but at least I am not afraid to go into a clash with paracetamol tablets. =)

However, my condition worsen and I have no choice but to have myself strapped naked by...myself for the check-up. I waited for the report for a week. It's not pleasant. The doctor said that there's something growing in my head near the cerebellum part, and the only way is to undergo surgery and a series of rehabilitation. He also added that the surgery must be done within 3 months as the "thing" in my head is growing faster than Usain Bolt can run. I was like:"WTF? I am only 22, there are plenty of things I haven't do and now I have a ticking bomb in my head? And you're playing humor by comparing me and Usain Bolt?" I left the hospital, soaked in a jar with plenty of anger and frust.

Now that one month has passed, and I've not made my decision yet. Should I put my life on the line? I was told I might lose some of my memories in the surgery, or if one of the capillary veins goes burst, then I'm done. Even if I survived, I might have to live with scar on my bald head and cannot recall my own name, my family, my friends, my dog and the girl that made me fall in love. I might even forget that today, first of April, is April Fool...

ryo signing off